Warning. This is a tale of narcissistic fantasy. concerning the preoccupied delusion of the twenty tens. The psycho-patriots. The tax dodging ideologists. The one-state-hate burden on society. A morality fringe fungus claimed by a yellow-purple pimple pound known as Brexit! No role. because our former citizens gave their hearts and souls. contributed twice as fast for half the price. A display of quality and skill that is impossible to match after a midday pint in Spoons Tim. Breakit! A parallel of prosperous pricks bore solely to protect pathetic pipe dreams of Pom being purchased with them as proprietary shareholders one day. A vision for when our public services would no longer exist and the minimum wage would be scrapped so these nihilistic non-dom nomads could finally file with HMRC, Call at least one UK house a home. Inheritit! All hands were tied to the now-sunk HMS 52, 48, which drowned honesty. a mass murder amidships as English Brexit voters reeled in the lies. Bregretit! The bank with one mill is a 30k salary - evidently chicken feed. The bank with one bill is a 30mil salary -  evidently bankers greed. The billionaire professional who attacks basic human rights by complaining about tax burdens. The bully who sends backhanders to buy barons who build barriers for any public voices not their own. The bare barbaric abuse upon Blighty. BBCit! Now Britain is as strong as a fish fished out of UK fishing water, Strong like BullShit!

Hi Rishi, check your junk box - I’ve emailed heaps of times, Money worry in a cheque box, Eight loud Big Ben chimes, I tried ya Facebook and Twitter Presently known as X, Faecal germs with shit and litter, Is flowing down the Exe, Redistributed funding, Far from needy or poor, Lords are finance hunting - Gimme more, more, more, Observe a cagey exercise, Obviously complex, Your men thrive, A the poor men dies, Ashes scattered down the Exe, Homey pied-à-terre, Hide the destitute, Share the same air, Lifes a risky route, Find the family you love, You famously reject, The craft you turned then shoved, Now drifting down the Exe, People are struggling, Rishi, Compassion gone awry We know something’s fishy, Brexits not gone away, We pay the extra customs checks, Tax loophole money hoard, Floating down the river Exe, Super yachts are moored,

Sea is never dry See it’s less dry every day Flooding ever nearer Ebbing far away Look out it’s getting deeper Look in but close ya mouth Look the icebergs melting Look Africa’s in drought Be level with the sea See levels getting high Sea rolls over to sandy lips To kiss our land good bye Shell wealth and inequality As our cool planet gets too hot The dictators see new territory Our gushing tears power populists Who allow oligarchs sea yachts A flow of action needed A haphazard trickling persists We can wish and prey for peace But all we get is piss

Better than Batman - smoother than Clarke Kent. Heavier than bricks - I stick stronger than cement. Admired by a portion - one hundred per cent. And you couldn’t do without me - Ramadan or Lent. No champion exists - who I’m not better than. Call me and I’ll swing your way. I’m a flying monkey man. My opinions - well worth knowing. I’ll tell you - how your life is going. I know everything - about the world. Atlas of knowledge - exquisitely unfurled. I have lived - in Japan! Call me and I’ll swing your way. I’m a flying monkey man. Very important person - I only have success. You will honour me - for my eco-put-on-dress. Liken my authority - the supremacy of god. Let me see your envy - join my squad. I’m in the super-hero-rock-star clan. Call me and I’ll swing your way. I’m a flying monkey man. Look on - the bright side - at least one of us is blessed. Agree - I’m right - I won’t cause more stress. Fall into my fantasy - Comic book poem - all about me. Entitled me - sincerity I ride for free - Put the knee in bee You see - you see I’m one, two, three Me, me, me, me And I’m my biggest fan Call me and I’ll swing your way. I’m a flying monkey man. You need me man - I don’t need you. I’m a hero - I did say, Ask nicely - I’ll be over there today. If plebs disrespect you - I have a plan: Call me quick - I’ll swing your way. I’m a flying monkey man.

Crock of Shit Hi My names Pete and I like poems about politics, Today I rhyme about the current crock of shit. Around 2008 there was a financial crash, Initial cause: banking firm called Lehman Who made loads of cash Off peoples mortgage APR, They profited on debt, They Greedily lent by far, Miles and miles too much - to their regret, Because the US house prices dropped, People's equity slid, Lehman lost six hundred bill, The People lost 10 trillion quid This recession hit the world of course Meanwhile in UK Farmer Blair, witch project on weapons, Thought best not to stay, The recession hit so MIGHTY Mousey Brown Thought to raise VAT, Although he failed to save the world and we’ve had Tory’s to this day, Who blamed this private sector cock up on public overspending, They dropped the budget on education, benefits and housing, The Tory’s cut our hospitals, the police and the bin collection, They called it austerity Ed the duck showed objection, everything publicly owned was cut there and then, Frog faced Farage famously moaned He wanted even less regulation, He targeted foreigners at large, Said we should leave the EU and have more privatisation, The Tory piggy Cameron got scared of Frogs agendum, After six years of being useless he held a referendum, The crazy thing was that pig wanted to remain in the EU, Apparently sheepy Mr Corbyn, wanted to remain too, Sheep stood by passively, as the UK tore into two, Without a word he allowed our European values to be miscrewd, But farmer, Mouse, Duck, Pig, Sheep, and mrs May And Overwhelmingly other MPs all wanted to stay, But UK voted OUT because sheep's woolly opposition was so thin, To be fair, it wasn’t only just him, If not for the shit show at animal farm UK would still be in! The farmer took a broomstick flyby Duck drank famous grouse, Mouse looked for a third way, Frog puffed out his chest, Mrs May ran through a Field of wheat… And Sheep said “baaah, I couldn’t care less”, Piggy whistled off to find something to eat, And then there was Boris! Hair in a mess, Big fat belly, A vested Brexit interest, Because he wanted to give PM a punt An entitled lying bully, Pulled the Brexit bus stunt,, kept us split to hold on to power, For the word cunt, He was a Latin classifier, He shut down the country during a pandemic but held parties, Knowingly promoting a sex offender, Gave public money to friends like it was smarties, Torys booted him out, booted up Trus programmed to “continue his good work”, She removed the tax for the wealthiest, And made the poor hurt, Liz Truss the space invader got well and truly chewed, Was replaced, without the county’s vote, with Sunak, this tax evading dude, A billionaire who can’t admit the damages of Brexit, Now we are in recession once again, It’s all a crock of SHIT!

I never knew she had hazards on But now she flashes all along The long road isn’t long for long I hope I am wrong Or have I, fallen in love with my bike Fuckin quick a fair old way I never gave a shit anyway Call me Krazy with a capital K Ive fallen in love with my bike Ive fallen in love with my bike She makes me feel so good Im the swordsman and she's my blade A hazard to your neighbourhood She is a clean and tidy type of girl Knees out, power sliding, roads a-curled Made up for speed because thats my world Ive fallen in love with my bike We love our holidays International crime is our life Slaughtering miles like we the Cray's Ive fallen in love with my bike Every-time I think I'll die One little move makes me fly Mind and body high Ive fallen in love with my bike Ive fallen in love with my bike She makes my garage look cool Anyone welcome to hitch hike Its the stuff they tell you not to do at school I want speed and she obeys We set the streets ablaze Get the fuck out my way Ive fallen in love with my bike Im the rider She's my wheels Muchin miles and eatin thrills Knowing well that this shit kills Ive fallen in love with my bike

Flying Frenzy Bombed-out pilot, Gettin shifty, Farmer violet, Given whiskey, Stranger things happen in the sky, There are easier ways to get yer high, The skyhooks latch, To air time tots, Who air dispatch, To flying spots, How do ya wanna get there? fly! There are easier ways to get yer high, With natures gift, The eagle sores, The thermals lifts, The wings up more, Some scratching hills - some rubbing eyes, There are easier ways to get yer high, Stoked on coals, Of Venturi winds, Pursuing goals Of wider grins, Exploit that energy supply, There are easier ways to get yer high, Flying Frenzy, Fight fever school, Buzz like a bee, Stinging in brambles, With wings spread like a butterfly, There are easier ways to get yer high,

To terminal speed my body took flight Like a bird, a plane, or an autumn leaf Three-dimensional movements in the sky Just livin outside the real world beneath I’d barrel into a spin with the breeze. Air resistance stemmed acceleration Caught wind on my back to sit up with ease Rising horizon, exhilaration Plummeting makes a fantastic unwind Brilliant sunshine I lay on a cloud A lifetime a second played in my mind Headspace for dreams I’m forever endowed The audible heart sings like a flute Sonnet in motion - open parachute

You’re a gluten-free-chocolate-swimming pool, Bubbly Aero bars, tasty mule, Marathon E-life, Sprinting through life, Here and now, my future wife, Couldn’t find a better one, wouldn’t want worst, I love you in the sky, on the ground, and when we’re submersed, Defaulted schooling for the Odeon, Big hit-it-off before a run, Triathlon training as a pair, Summer love - No affair, Orange socks, beach balls that burst, I love you in the sky, on the ground, and when we’re submersed, In the name of god I Pete took you, To the pub - to have few, Your manner blithe - Your Devon air, Your little thumbs - your long blond hair, I could eat your cheeks - to make this verse, I love you in the sky, on the ground, and when we’re submersed, I’m king of the mountains - Will you be my queen? I wanna be yours - everlasting caffeine , Adventures disguised - pseudonym dates Three months in France as best of mates, U oginac, when our pad reversed, I love you in the sky, on the ground and when we’re submersed, To have and to hold - calm and free, Be my buzz - my edible tree, For better for worst - for all of time, For richer for poorer - for pour more wine, In sickness and in health - when reimbursed, I love you in the sky, on the ground and when we’re submersed,

I brighten up the toilet air Watch every little stunt I witness the whole household bare Boobs, bum, front Incense oil and candle wax A steamy atmosphere In a corner I feel framed Just hanging about here An entire lifetime keep on shining Till I hit the deck Life as a bathroom mirror I reflect Showers run Teeth are cleaned I like to keep in the swim He's so vain With what he's saying He looks at me and talks to him He seems to see himself in me But I'm backed by the wall Who observes what I see We're mutually appalled Bubble bath and conditioner Someone sinks a log I've seen it all, at least most of it Sometimes I'm in fog I investigate the crevasses Never would I reject Life as a bathroom mirror I reflect I like it when they talk to me But in the end I know The motivating speeches Are them and their ego I'll work until I'm shattered Display the opposite to you In a parallel universe Where you copy what you do Image of a naked household Letting it all hang free Polished, buffed, but cracks not clean He's on the lavatory I'm razor sharp and smooth as glass It could be worst I bet Life as a bathroom mirror I reflect

Livin outside the real-wide-world, just looking in, A big space event squared up, & swung right at my chin, I thought it would be a nice one, thought we could chill, But it was a bastard and set me up for a spill, I never had a warning: It stealth-ed my inner thoughts, spat out my secrets, Went where I wouldn’t go, Cut me off quick, then burnt me real slow, It roasted me from inside & reversed my natural flow, I was fully empty, I wanted something fun, It orbited me with rock & dust, In front of everyone, Shot stars, inter-gala-tic-ly, Stole my champagne supernova & made sure I could see, My solo-systems squashed by other falling-moons, My space station grounded on inhabitable Neputue, I tried to pull up my arsenal, my asteroid belt, And with with a broken telescopic lens, I proceeded to pelt. I couldn’t find my comfy coment, And the universe knew, It kept expecting starlight, When I was in a black-hole-getting-chewed, Then a zodiac astronomer blew a strong solar-wind, Now I weren’t just grounded I was negatively pinned, He looked like some kind of nebular from interstellar space, He said, “your not going anywhere, I’m cancelling this! Ah, but, No buts, no race!” With an ecliptic stare, He caused emotional eclipse, Threw my astroids back and broke me into bits, Thanks to that bloody space event observatory, I am a shadow of the space cadet that I used to be, But I will get back on my comet, And I still have my heart, Rocket ship to Amsterdam, And pull myself apart.